Joker & Catwoman
by agentofkaos
Summary: Just something I thought up after seeing The Dark Knight Rises. Also, I think I could've done a little bit better.


Where the hell was the Bat?

Loud cries issued out around the room that was the makeshift courthouse in Gotham. Dr. Jonathan Crane sat practically on a pedestal, judging those that came forth. Death or exile. Both having the same outcome since exile was just shoving people out on the frozen river. If you made it through that, it'd be a miracle. Hidden in the crowd, a man stood with a hood pulled up to hide his face. He probably wouldn't be welcome anyway with Banes new rules. For now, he was just part of the 'in' crowd. He wasn't about to find out if he was welcome or not by approaching Bane. The mercenary just stood by watching, having nothing to say.

The mystery man turned and headed for the exit. Once outside the room, he was alone in the empty hallway. Even so, he still did not pull down the hood. He didn't want to make his presence known even to the empty air. His only interest was the disappearance of the Batman. Rumors went around that Bane had killed the vigilante, but the man knew better than that. Surely the Bat wouldn't have gotten beat that easily. Then again, it had been eight years. Batman had vanished completely during that time so his return had to mean that he was out of practice.

"I was wondering if you'd ever show."

The man stopped when he heard that voice. He didn't turn as Selina Kyle walked up to stand in front of him. The last time he had seen her she was wearing her Catwoman garb. But, today, she was wearing simple civilian clothes that still flattered her figure. She could pull off anything and never look sloppy. It was something he had admired once upon a time.

Longer than eight years ago...

"Kinda surprised there hasn't been any rumors out of Arkham," Selina said, her arms crossed. She wasn't trying to be intimidating. She knew as well as he did that she couldn't pull that sort of thing on him. Even if she had dominated him. "Then again, there probably wasn't that many guards for one lone prisoner." She smirked, amused.

He glared at her from beneath the hood, his dark eyes not standing out as much as they used to when dark makeup covered them. The makeup would make him stand out here more, so he chose to just dump it. He was no longer a danger anyway now that Bane had taken over, blocking Gotham off from the rest of the world. He knew he shouldn't be complaining, but this just wasn't the way things should've been done. He still refused to think that Batman was dead.

"What are you doing here?" Selina asked. They hadn't spoken to each other since the 'college days' even though neither of them had gone to college. "Jack-"

The hood was pushed back as he grabbed her roughly and pushed her against the wall. She stared into his eyes calmly. He had always been impressed with how she wasn't afraid of him no matter what he did. Though, she hadn't personally come into contact with the Joker. Jack Napier had been the one she had dominated years ago. He hadn't even wanted to be dominated. She just tended to be a better fighter. Reminded him of the time Batman had ousted him. Getting a good beating from both had been exhilarating.

"You're no longer front page material," Selina said. "Even if people do know you're back, they're not gonna care. Bane has the upper hand here."

"Plus theres the fact that the police are trapped underground," Joker said. It was practically the only thing he could be grateful to Bane about, even if it did take out all the fun. He wouldn't have to worry about the GCPD breathing down his neck. "And no one knows I'm back."

Selina didn't say anything. The fact that she had recognized him probably meant that other people had noticed, too. Though, she knew him more so that just canceled out the possibility of other people knowing. Everyone would recognize him the most if he had makeup on. The scars still stood out, but that was the purpose of the hood. To hide his face from everything.

"How much do you know about Bane?" Joker asked. "You being in the inner circle-"

"No one knows anything about Bane," Selina said. "Other than the fact that he's big, scary, and going to send Gotham straight to Hell in a matter of days. And thats the point. If anyone wants to know, they don't have the courage."

"What about Batman?"

Selina didn't say anything. A look crossed her face. She felt guilty about something. And it had something to do with Batman. Had she gotten him killed? Or was she just involved with what happened to the Bat?

"I don't have all day, Kitty," Joker said, using the nickname he had for her back when they had been together. Their relationship had been short and hardly anything more than just sex. Rough sex that left them both sore. Scratched and bloodied was the way he had always woken up. And it usually left him horny.

"Batmans gone," Selina said, pushing away from him and stepping away from the wall. "I don't know anymore than that." She crossed her arms and turned away.

Joker rolled his eyes. "You've fallen for the Batman," he said as if it was a major accusation. To him, it was a crime. That was from jealousy that he pushed far, far down inside him. He couldn't deny the fact that he had had thoughts of Batman, also. Eight years in Arkham had been a long time. Masturbating to thoughts of the Dark Knight made nights go by faster. He'd usually pass out from intense orgasms.

Of course, he'd keep THAT to himself.

Selina turned back to him. "Frankly, thats none of your damn business," she said angrily, which just proved the fact that she had fallen for Batman. Poor girl. Batman probably hadn't gotten over Rachel Dawes. "You should go and ask Bane where the fuck he dumped Batman." She turned and headed for the exit, her heels clicking against the tiled floor.

Joker followed after her. "I've watched Bane," he said. He stepped out into the winter air after her. "And I actually don't want to get involved with that. My plan wasn't to destroy Gotham. More like dominate." With Batman being there trying to stop him.

His thoughts went back to eight years ago when Batman had him hanging at that construction site. "You and I are destined to do this forever," he had said. He'd meant it and he still did. The Batman didn't deserve death by asshole. Thats all Bane was.

Selina stopped and looked at him. "So, you'd actually consider stopping Bane?" she asked then laughed. "I know why they called you the Joker." She turned and started off.

Joker grabbed her arm, stopping her and turning her back to face him. "I'm considering finding Batman so he could do that job," he said. He had only been able to fight Batman because he had gotten Batman off guard for a little while. The fact that he had ended up in Arkham proved that he hadn't got Batman off guard for very long at all.

"We can't leave Gotham, so finding him won't do anything," Selina said. She pulled her arm out of his grasp then turned and walked off. Joker didn't follow. He just shook his head.

~Part 2~

The Joker walked into the apartment he had moved himself into since Bane took over. The entire building had been ransacked and abandoned, so he was on his own.

Completely.

He felt ridiculous for actually considering allying with Batman to stop Bane. Eight years ago, he had had fun going against him. Now that would be put aside. What the outcome would be, he didn't know. It was hard to imagine something that probably wouldn't ever come to pass. Batman was dead. Whether true or not, he'd just have to accept it since the Dark Knight wasn't coming back. He needed to get out of Gotham before Bane destroyed it.

Joker backed up into the shadows when he heard the door open and footsteps walk in. He recognized the sound of heels. He didn't move or breathe as a woman walked into the bedroom. Selina. Had she followed him? She had seemed really pissed at him as she had walked off. Maybe she had changed her mind.

Apparently.

He stepped out of hiding, surprising her with his sudden presence. "What do you want?" he asked, his tone saying it'd be better if she just left.

"You really think I'm gonna leave you alone to wallow in your grief?" Selina asked, walking over to him. "Admit it. You're just as torn up as I am at learning about Batman." She had the habit of seeing past the him that Gotham had seen eight years ago. He had been young and stupid when they had first hooked up.

"If you think I'd admit something like that," Joker said. "You're the crazy one, not me." Even if he didn't classify himself as crazy.

"Well, then, I'm not gonna leave me alone to wallow in my grief," Selina said. He backed up when she knelt down, grabbing his belt.

"I am not just something to use to get rid of everything you're feeling," Joker said, though he had to admit, she could be a perfect remedy to his stress. He was mostly just stressed over the fact that he was going to die along with everyone else in Gotham. He hoped Batman would show.

Selina remained kneeling. She pulled off her jacket and threw it to the side. "Suit yourself," she said then stood, kicking off her shoes. She walked over to the couch and sat down. He turned his head, merely watching her. He didn't know what she was going to do and wasn't about to ask. If she wanted to get off on his couch, go ahead. It technically wasn't his anyway.

"It's hot in here," Selina said, casually pulling off her shirt. The temperature was fine. He knew what she was trying to do. And he wasn't going to fall for it. But, he found himself unable to look away from her. She wore a black bra which only made him imagine the lacy undergarments beneath her pants.

As if reading his mind, Selina stood up and took off the rest of her clothes. She sat down, wearing only her underwear. Joker walked around to stand in front of the couch. He wanted to see how far she would go. Because right now, the slight bulge in his pants said he had already given up with ignoring her. Selina winked at him, biting her lip as her hand moved down her flat stomach. She closed her eyes, laying her head back as her hand slipped down inside her panties.

Joker walked over and knelt down in front of the couch. She looked at him when he pushed her panties aside to reveal the treasure beneath. She already had two fingers inside herself. He leaned forward, breathing against her skin and making her moan. Then he stood up and backed away, making her frown.

"Go ahead and play your games," Joker said. "I wanna see you cum."

Selina glared at him then pushed her underwear off herself, leaning forward long enough to get rid of the bra. She sat there naked before him, legs spread out, inviting. Her hand went back down to play with herself. He could see that it wasn't enough for her. He took off all of his clothes and sat down on a chair across the room. He spread his legs to give her a better view, but didn't touch himself. Whenever his hand went there, he always visualized the moment Batman had been between his legs.

Selina stopped and crossed her arms. "This is ridiculous," she said. "I didn't come here-"

"You haven't cum yet," Joker said. He took himself in his hand now, stroking up and down. "Who'll get there first?" He started stroking faster, smirking. This was his game now.

Selina grabbed her purse then stood up and walked over to him, kneeling down between his legs. He paused, his hand remaining on his dick. She pulled something out of her purse and he saw that it was a toy dildo. He raised an eyebrow, wondering what she had in mind. She pressed it against her pussy, coating it with her wetness then she raised it again.

He opened his mouth to say something then ended up groaning when she shoved it up his ass roughly. He instinctively grabbed onto the arms of the chair. He had never felt anything quite like that. It was a bit pleasant. She smiled, once again taking control of the situation. She moved it in and out of him. He felt himself become hard fast.

"You're really doing this to me?" he asked, finding himself panting. He didn't really want to be dominated like the first time they had been together.

"Maybe," Selina said then stood and turned. She sat down, his penis going inside her as she did so. She reached down and continued moving the toy in and out of him. He moaned, moving against both her and the dildo. His dick was practically throbbing with pleasure. She moaned as she bounced up and down on him, pushing the toy in deeper.

He groaned angrily as he came then shoved her off of him. He took the toy and pushed it inside her. She moaned but was cut off when he shoved his cock in her mouth. He thrusted in and out of her mouth while he pleasured her. When he felt himself close to cumming again, he pulled the toy out then attacked her pussy with his mouth. They brought each other to a climax. 


End file.
